I
asked Susan if her sister ever recanted her allegations of abuse now
that the relationship was rekindled and she said, "No. She says that my
dad and her have put it under the table and are moving on." Susan
explained that due to several life circumstances she had become the
"black sheep" and this was causing her to do a double-take on her
childhood and she was starting to think everything her sister said was
true. Susan then went on to recount several facts about abuses in
their home that lined up with these allegations and now she questioned
if she, too, had been abused.
As I listened to this story, I was once again reminded how common a scenario like this is in this particular religious group. When an abuse victim comes forward, they lose all human dignity and respect. The self-appointed investigation begins as “they” (religious leaders) go through the personal life of the victim with a fine-toothed comb looking for any evidence against her to damage her reputation and discredit her claims. Somehow these men feel like this is their right and privilege to do so. And since the victim has very few boundaries, she doesn’t know what she should or shouldn’t say. In the end, she realizes anything she did tell “the investigators” gets spun against her. Then after the self-appointed judge and jury finish their “investigation” they whisper into the ears of all who will listen and tell their “findings” against her. There is no accountability for the leaders within these groups who respond to abuse in this way and if the truth were told, if the same were done to them, the “findings” by others outside their group would reveal nothing more than their lies and deceit. Because the bottom line for these religious leaders is that it is not about truth, it’s about self-preservation.
Also, since they don’t believe in professional psychology it is no wonder these situations get brushed aside, after all, they can’t find that exact story in the Bible to fit their literal biblical interpretation schema. And if the Bible doesn’t say word-for-word what they think it should say (“Then the pedophile went out among them…and then Thou wilt go to the police…”) then the conclusion is that it’s just too difficult to deal with and should be left alone. It’s a shame because ultimately it results in brushing evil under the rug and then other children continue being exposed to and abused by the pedophile. How can I say this any better than: this must stop!
So what do you do when you’re the recipient of this type of information? I know what I am now doing in my life and I hope others will follow the same pattern: I went to the county police department where the church is located and gave them the name of the pastor and his church and then explained to them the story I was told. I told them I would like to have something on file just in case another accusation arises from within this man’s church. Sometimes police will make a record of your visit (most do), but sometimes they won’t. It all depends on who you talk to within the police department and their specific policies. But I will always try my dead level best in getting the information into the right hands. You never know in situations like this if family members will freeze up when the reality of what might happen to their father comes to light and I want to help a future abuse victim in dealing with these crimes.
I have probably made over four dozen phone calls in the last year to police departments reporting specific abuses that I’ve been made aware of around the country and I’ve informed at least 1-200 officers and social workers at different conferences and other events about this fundamentalist sect. I have been and am continuing to compile information and I’m sending it to the proper authorities. There have been many individual situations of abuse being reported around the country and charges have been pressed, but at this point it has been difficult to “pinpoint” where this abuse is stemming from. One of my goals is to help law enforcement and social services put the pieces together about what they have been dealing with. Many of the professionals around the country haven’t truly understood that this is one, very specific, umbrella philosophy being promoted from top-down amongst the leaders within this specific religious group. And now that the awareness is rising they are able to move on allegations more efficiently. There is still much work to do in spreading the word, but I am convinced if those of us who’ve been abused keep talking, we’ll start to see major results. I am absolutely confident that this is the only way for groups like this to be held accountable. I hope those who are reading this will do the same.